ecclesia reformata, semper reformanda secundum verbum Dei |
The Reformed Church, always reforming according to the Word of God |
Being single is very lonely sometimes. Tonight I was praying that God would bring a possible wife to me whether she is American or Canadian. Here are the things I demand and like in a wife
Demand:Traditionally the call to being a pastor has two elements. The external and the internal call. The external call refers to a trained and qualified man called to be a minister of the word and sacrament and is ordained by the laying on the hands. This cannot be be controlled. This is up to God and his sovereignty within providence.
Last night I couldn't sleep and I was wrestling with God in prayer over some personal things. So of course I did what every believer ought to do: go to the Word of God.
I wasn't sure where to turn, so I went to the beginning of the New Testament. No, not the Gospel of Matthew, but 1 Thessalonians. This book is the first book writen in the New Testament. The funny thing is that both evangelical and liberal scholarship agree on it. Anyways, not to sound like an hippy but here are the verses that God really used to comfort me:This reading week, I intend to actually do some reading, and maybe a bit of prep work for things to come in school, but mostly personal reading. It has been a long time to be quite frank, given I've been so busy with school and my annual October Halloween horror-movie marathon ;)
For one throb of the artery,
While on that old grey bedI sat
Under the old wind-broken tree
I knew that One is animate,
Mankind inanimate phantasy.
Today, I was woken up by a bunch of drunken folk playing the guitar singing Québec follk songs. My fault for living in the residences. Yet as I woke up from my dreams, my heart was being pulled to scripture and I felt under conviction for sin.
Lately I've developed bad habbits and used theology to justify them. I think this is a normal temptation for Christians, but at the same time I've been doing it way to long. The scripture that keeps on coming to mind is: 15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. ***The Holy Bible: English Standard Version., 1 Jn 2:15–17 (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001).***I feel like I've become to comfortable in this world, that my heart no longer years to be holy and near to King Jesus, but in the name of being culturally relavent, fulfilling the cultural mandate, being missional, etc... I've used all these things to justify bad habits that stem from my non-christian upbringing becuase of a desire I have in my heart to be accepted by people. I read this quote when searching on this scripture: '' Worldliness, then, is a preoccupation with ease and affluence. It elevates creature comfort to the point of idolatry; large salaries and comfortable life-styles become necessities of life. Worldliness is not just about reading certain magazines of people who live hedonistic lives and spend too much money on themselves and but secretly wanting to be like them. But more importantly, worldliness is simply pride and selfishness in disguise. It’s being resentful when someone snubs us or patronizes us or shows off. It means smarting under every slight, challenging every word spoken against us, cringing when another is preferred before us. Worldliness is harboring grudges, nursing grievance, and wallowing in self-pity. These are the some of the ways in which we evidence a love for the world.'' I am guilty of this sin and I need to repent.Today I was thinking about the harshness of Sanctification. Joseph had to face false accusations in order to Grow closer in obedience with God yet the Apostle John never once strayed away from His Saviour. The more I look at experience and the Scriptures, the more I am amazed, shocked, angered, and moved by the means God usually gets his saints to become holier.
Today, I received what felt like a rebuke, from a brother in the Lord whom I love. A man I have defended ironically from criticism so many times. He privately made casual statements essentially calling me a fool. He said he has some questions about the methods I use in making decisions. When I asked him to clarify with actual examples, he responded with statements that are factually wrong and provably wrong by a simple look at documents available online. Yet he defended himself. This caused me to be bitter and I replied with vile and anger by saying I did not consider this person a friend. This is a brutal way of causing pain I have found that works relatively well, especially with women-though men are not immune from its power. Destroying their perspective of a relationship Even more, out of anger and resentement I ignored a family member of this person with whom I considered a friend and didn't even say hi even when beside this person. It was coldness. I find this method most sinful because it creates self-doubt in the person. They are not sure if it is all in their mind or if there is something wrong. It is an old trick I still use from time to time... So clearly I was in the wrong here for how I acted. Yes, I have plans for reconsiliation. But should it go further than that. I have a good opportunity to listen to see how my brother sees me. And I should be pleased that I have people around me who are willing to talk to me out of concern! This is truely Christian love in motivation. And such an obsession with defending my innocense from accusations- though good to a point, is not healthy. My Conscience is bound by Scripture and God ultimately, but that being said, Scripture demands that Christians interfere in the lives of our brothers and sister's at times. Now Christians, though we all agree on the Gospel, disagree on the implications of Gospel. This fact in combination with the New Testament imperative of the life of Christians in the local Church makes things soo confusing. Two pastors pastors in the same tradition can have two radically different opinions on a matter of wisdom, thus leaving the poor lay person who is commanded to submit to the authorities of the Church in emotional pain. I guess all this to say that, Criticism is hard. It is painful. It is rarely 100% right, but you have to go with your gut ultimately. There is no alternative for the conscience. Pray, ask advice, read your Bible of coursee before making decisions, but at the end of the day unless there is clear scriptural prohibitiion...Humans will go with their intuition. And that is why I need to listen to this criticism, no matter how hard it is for me, because it is coming from people who love me and have proven it time and time again. This person, even if radically wrong, has earned the right to make judgments in this sense , and I must be willing to lay out my soul before him and the WOrd of God willing to be transformed and pray that his criticism shall be a means of grace. In writting this blog entry, i had my thoughts clarified and my soul was put a bit at ease and that is all for now.
A débutant theologian, always looking to be checked by Scripture and the Reformed Tradition second.
